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Stackton Tressel

we 15 Mar

A tree much offended by Ms Flute's commentsStackton Tressel ballet dancer in residence Callista Flute has been asked to stop posting on her Bebo account until the PR & Markets Committee reviews the town council's social media guidelines.  It has been reported that some of Ms Flute's comments on trees have given great offence.

th 26 Jan
Australia Day

Similar to Framlingham's allotment expansion Woodbridge town council are looking for land to become allotments.  Friend of ntc Peter Brockett has suggested the proposed Stackton Tressel allotment expansion should be careful Woodbridge tc don't snipe the land behind the Trouser Museum.

fr 13 Jan
Friday the 13th

A Suffolk AllotmentStackton Tressel councillor Major DeRoute has written to the EADT letters page announcing a vibrant and exciting new initiative for private allotments in Stackton like those in FramlinghamIt will end the corruption and bribery surrounding the Stackton council allotments waiting list commented the Major.  The project's Kickstarter page has already raised an encouraging £14.92. to buy the field at the back of the Trouser Museum.

we 24 Aug

An unnamed Stackton Tressel town councillor has commented on Major DeRoute's proposal to ban some residents from the allotments waiting list The Major is very like his Jack Russell, you just have to wait for him to stop barking.

su 21 Aug
Trouser Museum

TenaA misunderstanding last week at the Stackton Tressel Trouser Museum.  As there's been a lot of recent political activity Carron in the office was asked to get a quote for a close protection officer ... she ordered a catering size box of Tena pads.

th 4 Aug
allotments ban

Suffolk sophisticates have both Co-op cardsStackton Tressel town council finance committee chairman Major Gervaise DeRoute will propose at the next full council meeting that people who do not have a Co-op card or only moved to the town 22 years ago (a year after him) or less should be barred from the allotment waiting list.  Council chairman Dame Celia Baumhugger commented she couldn't see how this would help Stacker's tree community.

fr 1 Apr

April FoolStackton Tressel ballet dancer in residence Callista Flute has volunteered to give the town councillors poise lessons ... that'll work eh?

we 2 Feb

Trees the tree warden failedTo assist with the government's leveling up policy Stackton Tressel town council is considering appointing a Spirit Level Officer (SLO).  Chairman Dame Celia Baumhugger commented Hopefully they could also assist the tree warden.

th 20 Jan

The wifi password in the Stackton Tressel Trouser Museum cafe is trousers.

tu 12 Oct

Stackton Tressel's response to the pandemic at best is belated and certainly dated especially as the blokes on the right don't know how to wear a mask.

sa 5 Jun

A tree possibly in LiechtensteinStackton Tressel (pop 6,324) town council denies informal meetings to discuss a unilateral declaration of independence after the government finalises a trade deal with Liechtenstein (pop 38,229).  Council chairman Dame Celia Baumhugger said she'd heard there were trees in Liechtenstein.

th 1 Apr
Rubbish Thursday ... the day before Good Friday

Stackton Tressel town council have appointed a Fun Czar but for security reasons have not identified the new appointee.  Suggestions have been made it's thatApril Fool there Ed Sheraton.  Chairman Dame Celia Baumhugger wouldn't confirm or deny this though she volunteered the new Czar does like trees.

we 10 Mar

East African Daily TimesThe town coucil's PR and Markets committee earlier this month discussed buying a lectern to use for White House type press briefings.  A decision was deferred until next month when chairman of the Finance committee Major Gervaise DeRoute opined Surely a fax to the East African and maybe the Plomesgate Illuminator if it's still going would be enough?

we 13 Jan

The town council's Suffolkness committee has issued new guidelines.  To be authentic Suffolk you should have a Co-op loyalty card, drink beer (meaning mild) not lager, know what squit is, who the manager of ITFC is and where Benhall and Little Mutterings are, and not use 'do' and 'does' the right way round like those la di da townies from that there London does ... owning a tractor helps ...

we 2 Dec
Trouser Museum

Stackton Tressel Trouser MuseumStackton Tressel Trouser Museum staff have requested Covid-19 test kits.  The trustees have refused saying the staff should be able to tell if someone is infected by the sound of their cough.

tu 3 Nov

The fictional Stackton Tressel on Radio 4 Extra today.

th 27 Aug

Lotus speculoos biscuitThe Lunar Gavotte is the larger of Stackton Tressel's one and a half coffee shops.  The Gav is no longer serving a complimentary speculoos biscuit with each coffee because of government Covid-19 guide lines ... no, we can't see how that works either?

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