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Stackton Tressel

su 6 May
2023
Black Spot Day

OpenAIA TRUTH Social post alleges Stackton Tressel Ents and Trees committee minutes are being produced using AI but so far nobody has noticed.  We would contact Fun Czar the committee chair for comment but for security reasons their identity is secret.

sa 1 Apr
2023

Lord Lucan living in Stackton TresselA usually reliable source tells us that Elvis is alive and well and living in the Stackton Tressel retirement home DunFiddling near theApril Fool rugby club.  He's next door to Lord Lucan and they can sometimes be seen together in The Angry Fly sharing a plate of chips with chips.

we 15 Mar
2023

A tree much offended by Ms Flute's commentsStackton Tressel ballet dancer in residence Callista Flute has been asked to stop posting on her Bebo account until the PR & Markets Committee reviews the town council's social media guidelines.  It has been reported that some of Ms Flute's comments on trees have given great offence.

th 26 Jan
2023
Australia Day

Similar to Framlingham's allotment expansion Woodbridge town council are looking for land to become allotments.  Friend of ntc Peter Brockett has suggested the proposed Stackton Tressel allotment expansion should be careful Woodbridge tc don't snipe the land behind the Trouser Museum.

fr 13 Jan
2023
Friday the 13th

A Suffolk AllotmentStackton Tressel councillor Major DeRoute has written to the EADT letters page announcing a vibrant and exciting new initiative for private allotments in Stackton like those in FramlinghamIt will end the corruption and bribery surrounding the Stackton council allotments waiting list commented the Major.  The project's Kickstarter page has already raised an encouraging £14.92. to buy the field at the back of the Trouser Museum.

we 24 Aug
2022

An unnamed Stackton Tressel town councillor has commented on Major DeRoute's proposal to ban some residents from the allotments waiting list The Major is very like his Jack Russell, you just have to wait for him to stop barking.

su 21 Aug
2022
Trouser Museum

TenaA misunderstanding last week at the Stackton Tressel Trouser Museum.  As there's been a lot of recent political activity Carron in the office was asked to get a quote for a close protection officer ... she ordered a catering size box of Tena pads.

th 4 Aug
2022
allotments ban

Suffolk sophisticates have both Co-op cardsStackton Tressel town council finance committee chairman Major Gervaise DeRoute will propose at the next full council meeting that people who do not have a Co-op card or only moved to the town 22 years ago (a year after him) or less should be barred from the allotment waiting list.  Council chairman Dame Celia Baumhugger commented she couldn't see how this would help Stacker's tree community.

fr 1 Apr
2022

April FoolStackton Tressel ballet dancer in residence Callista Flute has volunteered to give the town councillors poise lessons ... that'll work eh?

we 2 Feb
2022

Trees the tree warden failedTo assist with the government's leveling up policy Stackton Tressel town council is considering appointing a Spirit Level Officer (SLO).  Chairman Dame Celia Baumhugger commented Hopefully they could also assist the tree warden.

th 20 Jan
2022

The wifi password in the Stackton Tressel Trouser Museum cafe is trousers.

tu 12 Oct
2021

Stackton Tressel's response to the pandemic at best is belated and certainly dated especially as the blokes on the right don't know how to wear a mask.

sa 5 Jun
2021

A tree possibly in LiechtensteinStackton Tressel (pop 6,324) town council denies informal meetings to discuss a unilateral declaration of independence after the government finalises a trade deal with Liechtenstein (pop 38,229).  Council chairman Dame Celia Baumhugger said she'd heard there were trees in Liechtenstein.

th 1 Apr
2021
Rubbish Thursday ... the day before Good Friday
Fun Czar

Stackton Tressel town council have appointed a Fun Czar but for security reasons have not identified the new appointee.  Suggestions have been made it's thatApril Fool there Ed Sheraton.  Chairman Dame Celia Baumhugger wouldn't confirm or deny this though she volunteered the new Czar does like trees.

we 10 Mar
2021
Lectern

East African Daily TimesThe town coucil's PR and Markets committee earlier this month discussed buying a lectern to use for White House type press briefings.  A decision was deferred until next month when chairman of the Finance committee Major Gervaise DeRoute opined Surely a fax to the East African and maybe the Plomesgate Illuminator if it's still going would be enough?

we 13 Jan
2021

The town council's Suffolkness committee has issued new guidelines.  To be authentic Suffolk you should have a Co-op loyalty card, drink beer (meaning mild) not lager, know what squit is, who the manager of ITFC is and where Benhall and Little Mutterings are, and not use 'do' and 'does' the right way round like those la di da townies from that there London does ... owning a tractor helps ...

we 2 Dec
2020
Trouser Museum

Stackton Tressel Trouser MuseumStackton Tressel Trouser Museum staff have requested Covid-19 test kits.  The trustees have refused saying the staff should be able to tell if someone is infected by the sound of their cough.

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