Stackton Tressel

Emotional scenes at last night's monthly Stackton Tressel town council meeting.  We'd like to tell you about it but we had to sign a non-disclosure agreement if we ever want to get to the top of the allotments waiting list.

In fake news the Stackton Tressel Trouser Museum is hosting an exhibition of famous trouser forgeries.  Exhibits includes the alleged drain pipes PJ Proby famously split on stage ... twice, and repro breeches the Duke of Wellington wore to relieve himself before relieving somewhere.  The show runs until October and then continues its tour of places where there's not a lot to do.

The East African Daily Times has reported that Stackton Tressel town council chairman Dame Celia Baumhugger refused to appear on Desert Island Discs when they rejected her selection of exclusively Edward Sheeran songs.  She commented I've been told Edward Sheraton is local, has done much to promote the area and is in need of the income from some wireless airplay. ♫

Spike Ristonde has resigned his controversial appointment as Stackton Tressel wellbeing deliverance officer to take up a new position in the town.  The Stackton Busy Club has appointed Mr Ristonde Town Events Manager after the town's 35 space Trees Car Park almost ran out of spaces at last year's Trouser Fest.  Mr Ristonde said he was delighted to be appointed for such a vibrant, exciting and cosmopolitan venue and wouldn't be surprised to see local celebrity Ed Sheeran at the Trouser Fest as he's been told Ed often wears trousers.

At yesterday's monthly Stackton Tressel town council meeting Spike Ristonde was appointed wellbeing deliverance officer.  His choice was questioned by STCk (the resident's association) because of his EDL membership and undischarged bankruptcy but tc chairman Dame Celia Baumhugger observed he was the only candidate and he does like trees.

To liven up town council meetings Stackton Tressel council have applied for a lottery grant to buy a smoke machine after trials with Hamish McEdbanguh's e-cigarette were a bit pants.  Chairman Dame Celia Baumhugger commented I'd enjoy making a bit of an entrance especially as I've bought a new pair of trousers, you know the ones with an elastic waistband?

There are 122 parishes in Mid Suffolk and only nine will bother with an election this May.  Stradbroke looks particularly lively with 18 candidates for the 13 seats.  It's unclear what Stackton Tressel will do as they don't seem to come under either Central or Coastal Suffolk.  Stackton community leader Hamish McEdbanguh commented Sorry, I'm in a hurry.

We all know that walking consists of putting on your walking clothes, driving to a walking place, changing your shoes and then walking.  Advanced walking is leaving the house in your everyday clothes and instead of driving walking to do your errands.  To make this activity safer Stackton Tressel town council have produce the booklet Advanced Walking covering training, safety, navigation, meeting other advanced walkers, etc.  There is a small charge ... unless they know you of course.

This coming May Stradbroke will have a contested parish council election, around near the coast most places probably won't bother ... don't know about Stackton Tressel yet.  Surprisingly applications to be a parish/town councillor have to be delivered to the district council by hand, in Stradders the parish clerk will deliver it for you.

At this month's Stackton Tressel town council meeting PC Thatchpole before making the police report warned that though the the legislation may soon change it is still illegal to have a two minute levitation at the start of the meeting.