earlier in Stackers

The fictional Stackton Tressel on Radio 4 Extra today.

The Lunar Gavotte is the larger of Stackton Tressel's one and a half coffee shops.  The Gav is no longer serving a complimentary speculoos biscuit with each coffee because of government Covid-19 guide lines ... no, we can't see how that works either?

At this difficult time Stackton Tressel town council have reluctantly moved the annual Lady Di Lookalike competition to the fireworks display November in Gayla Park.  Hamish McEdbanguh commented 'The Coy Look You’d Most Like To Take Home Award' won’t be the same in the dark.

The Stackton Tressel Trouser Museum is giving free entry to anyone with a blue passport.

For ethical and legal reasons (plus we're now up to fourth on the allotments waiting list) we can't report on the Stackton Tressel town council meeting earlier this month but we note Major Gervaise DeRoute is still walking with a limp.

Emotional scenes at last night's monthly Stackton Tressel town council meeting.  We'd like to tell you about it but we had to sign a non-disclosure agreement if we ever want to get to the top of the allotments waiting list.

In fake news the Stackton Tressel Trouser Museum is hosting an exhibition of famous trouser forgeries.  Exhibits includes the alleged drain pipes PJ Proby famously split on stage ... twice, and repro breeches the Duke of Wellington wore to relieve himself before relieving somewhere.  The show runs until October and then continues its tour of places where there's not a lot to do.

The East African Daily Times has reported that Stackton Tressel town council chairman Dame Celia Baumhugger refused to appear on Desert Island Discs when they rejected her selection of exclusively Edward Sheeran songs.  She commented I've been told Edward Sheraton is local, has done much to promote the area and is in need of the income from some wireless airplay. ♫

Spike Ristonde has resigned his controversial appointment as Stackton Tressel wellbeing deliverance officer to take up a new position in the town.  The Stackton Busy Club has appointed Mr Ristonde Town Events Manager after the town's 35 space Trees Car Park almost ran out of spaces at last year's Trouser Fest.  Mr Ristonde said he was delighted to be appointed for such a vibrant, exciting and cosmopolitan venue and wouldn't be surprised to see local celebrity Ed Sheeran at the Trouser Fest as he's been told Ed often wears trousers.

At yesterday's monthly Stackton Tressel town council meeting Spike Ristonde was appointed wellbeing deliverance officer.  His choice was questioned by STCk (the resident's association) because of his EDL membership and undischarged bankruptcy but tc chairman Dame Celia Baumhugger observed he was the only candidate and he does like trees.

When Pitkin Homes restored the Stackton Tressel Perpetuity trouser factory into studio flats estate agents started calling the town's industrial south the artisan quarter.  This has become so popular with estate agents in all of Suffolk that at this month's town council meeting Major Gervaise DeRoute suggested renaming Stackton's artisan quarter the artisan three eighths.

To liven up town council meetings Stackton Tressel council have applied for a lottery grant to buy a smoke machine after trials with Hamish McEdbanguh's e-cigarette were a bit pants.  Chairman Dame Celia Baumhugger commented I'd enjoy making a bit of an entrance especially as I've bought a new pair of trousers, you know the ones with an elastic waistband?